Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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