It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
