i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
