This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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