My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
