C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
we're so committed to being not committed
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize
