Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
