All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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