i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
There are leaves in my underwear?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
