Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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