Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Randomize
