dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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