We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
We're too hungover to prance.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
