Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
