I like to think it a success when the cops are called
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Randomize
