She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
