also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Holy shit dude........stairs
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