I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
