Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
If that was your dad, he is hot
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
