and you said cock pushups were impossible
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
