susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
so let's talk penis.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Randomize
