I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
worst night to have a conscience
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
