We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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