All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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