is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
