There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
