We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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