Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
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