what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
