Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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