So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
this will be a night to untag.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
