Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
