Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Randomize
