People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
My boob is missing a layer of skin
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Randomize
