Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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