oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize