woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I got inside last night via doggy door
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
