First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Boobs speak an international language.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
