i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
