We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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