woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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