we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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