you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
