yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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