My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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