If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
