Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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