I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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