Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
