dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
