Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
